by Kelsey Fields
“Hi I have 583 different swimsuit tops and bottoms to try on. That’s not over the limit is it?”
We’ve all been there. Stuck in the Target dressing room, praying for a miracle that crosses off all the items on your checklist. My checklist looks like this:
- Appropriate enough that I would be comfortable if I saw a student at the pool
- Practical enough that I can school my kids in a game of chicken without flashing an innocent bystander
- Fits well enough that I am not constantly pulling an atomic wedgie out of my rear
- Accentuates the good and hides the bad
Can I just swim in jeans? Can someone please invent beach jeans?
With Memorial Day in the rearview mirror, it’s officially swimsuit season. And since beach jeans don’t seem to be catching on, its time to get over it, and get outside. ‘Cause my kids don’t care how I look, they care how I play. And not to brag, but I play one mean shark monster.
Even though beach body prep should’ve began, oh, last year, It’s never too late to target those troubled areas. When I have one week to go before a particularly important event that requires a swimsuit (think vacation, girls trip,etc.) this is my go to routine:
- Sleep as much as humanly possible to avoid eating
- Go to the doctors office and sit in the sick patient area to try and catch some stomach bug germs
- Try the Beyonce magic drink cleanse with cayenne pepper and lemon juice
Just kidding. I’m obviously a mom so sleeping just isn’t an option. Here is my actual routine.
1) Cut the sodium.
Too much sodium in your diet causes increases water retention which causes bloating and weight gain. In fact, an order of large fries, or an extra 400 milligrams of sodium — the equivalent to 1 gram of table salt — is enough to trigger 2 pounds’ worth of water retention.
2) Water, water, and MORE water
Aim to drink half of you weight in ounces of water each day (If you weigh 140 pounds aim for 70 ounces of water daily). Water keeps your metabolism revved up and combats bloat as it allows your body to release fluids.
3) Hit the gym
Hate to break it to you, but you won’t transform your body with a week work of dates on the elliptical. What you will do, is get your blood flowing and your metabolism churning. It’s no secret but my favorite fat busting workings include short bursts of high intensity moves followed by short periods of rest. It’s called high intensity interval training, and you can find the perfect workout for beginners here.
4) Fake a tan
I always to prefer putting on a swimsuit with a tan. Tanned skin looks tighter and more toned so it makes cellulite less noticeable and covers bruises and stretch marks. BONUS, once you are in the sun you will already have a glow so you won’t have to risk a sunburn by laying out to catch some rays. The week before Memorial Day my girlfriends and I got together and had a spray tan party. We had fellowship, fun, and a professional spray tanner come over and help us mamas out. SO fun!
5) Last Second Touch-Up
Right before the, uh, big reveal, I always drop and do twenty push-ups, and a few minutes of various planks. It makes your muscles pop and you feel strong. I’m sure my kids and husband really appreciate it right before we get on the boat. Hehe.
At the end of the day, don’t let your lack of readiness ruin a fun filled time with friends and family. If you need to make some changes, commit to it, but realize that changes take time.
And if you happen to find some swim jeans, hook a sista up.
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Kelsey is an elementary teacher (just finished her first year!), a Beachbody certified Insanity instructor, avid runner and yoga enthusiast.
When she is not working out, you will find her cheering on the Denver Broncos, substitute teaching and spending time with her family. She is wife to Blake and mom to busy 2 year-old son Max and 1 year-old, Mick.