by Mindi Artherton
Ya’ll this is hard. For the past month, I kept thinking of life before kids and how people would tell me you can’t explain what it is like to parent until you have a child. Your friends and family give you tons of advice and try to explain what it is like to be a mom, but you don’t really “get it” until you do it yourself…
That is how I have felt this week. I thought sending my oldest to kindergarten would be a breeze, but it is tough–and you don’t really “get it” until you do it yourself.
My 5 year-old daughter, B, is READY for school. Like begging to go for a year, counting down the days all summer until the first day of school and semi-stalking her new teacher ready. She couldn’t be more excited, momma on the other hand, has been counting down the days too, but in a different way! =)
Well, just as planned, the days turned into weeks and summer was gone before I knew it and it was time to send my little one on her way to the “big school.” And I gotta be honest, I cried–just as predicted! I will say, however, for me, dreading it was worse than actually doing it! You know, kind of like going to the doctor–you dread it forever, and once you go, you realize it really wasn’t that bad. That is how drop-off day was for me!
I think during this transition, I have learned more about myself than I could have dreamed. I was upset and worried about B, but maybe all along God was using this time to teach me a thing or two…
- I am not in control. Once again, I tried to imagine every possible scenario in my head and try to prepare her for anything that may come her way during day one, but guess what? I am not in control and that is impossible. I think that reality hit me like a ton of bricks when our friend posted this devotion about letting go. I am learning to realize maybe the best thing I can do is make sure she feels loved and has a safe place to come home to.
- My people are awesome. I can not even begin to tell you how thankful I felt the day I walked out of her classroom. Thankful because my phone was blowing up all morning with text from friends and family checking on ME! They knew B was ready to go, but loved me enough to check in on me. Thankful because when we arrived, we immediately had a friend take over a job that my husband was working on (he is a teacher) so we could walk down the hall together as a family. Thankful because I honestly believe I am sending her into a school full of people that already love her and care for her–even though they may not know her yet. Thankful because I know I don’t have to be in control (see above)–He is in control. I just honestly felt thankful. I don’t know how else to say it…
- Parenting is a journey. Before having kids, I had this idea in my mind that the newborn stage was the hardest. The older I get and the older my kids get, I am learning that is not the case at all. While I have enjoyed being a mom–it is hard! The reality hit me during this transition that this journey will not end and it only gets more complicated.
So she is off… With a skip in her step, a twirl in her skirt and glitter in her hair (literally!) my girl is off to take on kindergarten and thanks to Him, I know it will be great. I know I have many more parenting lessons ahead of me, but I am thankful for the journey!